Imagine this. It’s the evening at the end of a long Indian Summer. You are taking a break because you’ve worked at chores all day, and it’s beginning to cool down at last. The house is clean enough to negotiate resting your bones, and you can curl up with a good book. You sigh with relief as you watch the remaining beams of sunlight through an early dusk setting dance on the ceiling and walls of your bedroom. You catch a drift of fresh linen sheets underneath you. You begin to read a few pages, but then your eyes fall heavy. You drift off with the words of your favorite story in your mind as you are in between awake and asleep to the sound and smell of the Summer rain beginning to tap on your window. You begin hearing someone in the kitchen getting dinner started. The familiar noises of pots and pans, lids and chopping give you a sense of comfort and well being. You think to get up and offer help, but the lethargy taking over is too strong. Soon, the smell of the grill and what’s cooking wafts in, but you are far too comfortable now. As you give in saying to yourself, “One less thing I have to worry about.” Finally, for the first time today, you allow yourself to rest. For just a few minutes you bargain with yourself, there’s nothing to do, just be.
I met Sonia Choquette once at a Hay House I can Do it Event in Denver. I had read all of her books, had a lot of her oracle decks, and at the time was completely immersed in self growth, spirituality, meditation, therapy, psychic studies, and working on being the best version of myself. I eagerly waited in line with my beautiful new friend Heather I met at the event and buddied up with. (Still beautiful inside and out, and still my friend to this day!). We were giggling with excitement after seeing Sonia on stage. Earlier we met, and buddied up. We were fast friends and rearranged our scheduled workshops to be in the same events together. I stepped forward to the table where Sonia was taking autographs handing her an oracle card from one of her decks to sign. She held it up and said, “Ah. Yes.” I leaned in closer doing the opposite of what the card said, which she read a loud “breathe.” Then she signed it. I was happy with that. She continued to speak, looking at me with her radiant glowing skin and beaming smile. “You don’t need to DO anything more to be your spirit. You just need to BE more of your spirit.” I basically bowed in utter reverence as I just got a mini reading from Sonia that would inevitably change my entire life for free. Wow. Her words bounced around in my mind for the entire evening. Trying hard to make sense of them. I went on with life, and the weeks that followed I continued on my self-growth, while managing a full time job, psychic studies classes, mediumship classes, therapy, and cleaning my house to perfection while trying to be the light to everyone and manage to meditate two times daily for twenty minutes and squeeze in exercise and time for a boyfriend, family, and friends.
I was exhausted, irritable, resentful and extremely out of balance. No matter how much I seemed to DO, the inner critic in my mind would say “do more, Lazy.” The people surrounding my life outwardly would mirror my inner state from relationships to work. I’m happy to say I now have a very supportive boyfriend who encourages me out of my mania and into taking breaks, nicer friends who ask me what I want to do, and a different job with 1 boss that lets me be an adult.
Back then though, I would sit down to meditate and fall asleep. I’d beat myself up for falling asleep. One night after a normally long busy day, I dozed off into sleep during meditation. My angels were in my dream and showing me a chalkboard sign on a door. It read what Sonia Choquette had told me months prior at the event. I had long forgotten until the dream, “You don’t need to DO any more to be your spirit, you just need to BE more of your spirit.” An aha went off as I rose the next day! I knew what my angels were saying and what she meant. My ego had dressed up as my intuition and trapped me in a hamster wheel of perfecting self growth! To quote another Hay House Author, “no one likes a spiritual snob.” and a line my mom used to say, Honey, it’s ok you’re human!
A line from the introduction to a course in miracles says:
“The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance.”
Love is already there. You are already where you are meant to be, and you are perfect as you are. It is through self acceptance, and self love that we can begin to remove the blocks and limiting beliefs that keep us in the same unhealthy patterns preventing us from growing to be our full potential. Once I began being nicer to myself, and I stopped “shoulding all over myself” I began living a more intuitively aligned life that would lead me to right action. That was when I truly began seeing results.
This leads me to the topic of my latest video blog on my ideal evening routine. Remember the beginning of this article where I talked of painting the perfect Summer evening? Seams like a fantasy right? Well, it’s not and it’s precisely why evening is my favorite time of day. I remember this moment in my life so clearly, that I work each day to return to that feeling I had when I was living in Alabama at 19 years old reading Nora Roberts Irish Trilogy at the end of Summer before adult life took over. For so long it was the last time I felt I was truly BEING.
My angels intuitively led me to write about my evening routine, which I found intriguing because I hadn’t perfected it just yet. Then I remembered, those words from Sonia Choquette. To be more of my spirit. At the end of the day, I want to encourage you to give all the DO-ing a rest. Hang it all up on the shelf, and act in faith knowing you’ve done enough. Turn it all over, offer it on up to the powers that be, and only DO 3 things in your evening routine, one for your mind, one for your body, and one for your spirit. Especially if you have to look after everyone else and are only DO-ing for them. Three things, ready list em out: one for your mind, one for your body, and one for your spirit. After you’ve done these 3 things, rest assured, you have done the footwork and the Universe will do the rest. I know this is difficult to give up perfection and control. You may be enthusiastic, hopped up on caffeine, strong willed or think it won’t get done if you don’t do everything for everyone. Or maybe you feel like you’ve done nothing today. Believe me, I understand. As an Enneagram type 9 peacemaker, to quote Robert Holden from the same I Can Do It event as mentioned earlier…9’s are thinking, “Who will I piss off if I am being myself?” There’s so much pressure to be, to perform, duties, and deadlines to uphold and to let it go feels careless. It’s actually what you NEED to do to show up fully for the world and for those you love, and necessary for your health to fill your cup first. You have to summon the courage to let yourself off the hook, say goodbye to perfection, and do 3 things for yourself. I recommend this method: list your three things and let your spirit be your guide. First ask, what is it my mind needs, then list it…follow with what does my spirit need? and What does my body need? Then, don’t do anything until you do the first thing you listed. Once completed, don’t start the second thing. Once you’ve completed 1 and 2, complete number 3 on your list. Once you’ve done 1 thing for your mind, 1 thing for your body, and 1 thing for your spirit, you will be in a much more grounded centered state to flow and co-create a lasting productive and healthy lifestyle with spirit and enter the a state of flow. The state of being.
“YOUR A HUMAN BEING NOT A HUMAN DOING” Soul friend. I love you. Just the way